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What Do You Think About Suicide?
I thought of suicide for the first time when I was 19 years-old. I was a Senior in college, but something happened to me that my community would harshly judge. I fell in a deep dark hole of shame, guilt, and despair. I already know everything they would say. I knew because I thought it before I started falling. I knew because I know them. I was taught to think like them. I was utterly alone. Alone in a hallway with so many doors and when I approached to open it, it said, “Don’t Exit.” I thought, “I’m not exiting I’m entering,” but the sign changed in neon flashing lights and said, “Don’t Enter.” I fell on the ground. Defeated. The only door I can now see says, “suicide.” I started planning how to open that door. Once the door is opened, it’s over. No cry for help, nothing like that. My mind was working so hard through my tears. Looking at scenario after scenario. I worked on top of a mountain for a church summer camp. I was one of the camp counselors. The zigzaggin