Writing Today

So much has happened last week that I have not been able to write every day. 😞

Camp NaNoWriMo started yesterday and I was able to listen to the Virtual Write-in today. I am in the process of editing my first novel and it’s taking a lot of time. I haven’t gotten into a groove or a habit. Every day is a struggle but I commit myself to my writing so that my novel can get finished. It is the only way.

I am continually experiencing de javu. The building and the structures that have been in my dreams are beginning to leak into my waking consciousness. I usually take that to mean that my unconscious is becoming conscious.

Interweaving the life I left and the life I have now is an opening and a beginning. I know that in my dreams once I got away from the buildings I couldn’t get back to them no matter how much I tried. I’m pretty sure this means that I’m not supposed to go back.

My past if looked at is full of regrets and guilt-trips. Shoulda, woulda, couldas…

The Buddha says--

The past is dead and gone. The future is yet to come.

Being present takes a lot of practice, but when achieved creativity flows.

I wrote this when I first got to my writing room--

Forgiveness

He (thinking of my first husband who almost died two weeks ago) says to them (his brother and daughter--not my daughter) I’m invasive. How many lies about me did he say? Should they matter? If I don’t let it matter is that forgiveness?

Pettiness

I unblocked them (the brother and daughter) on Facebook. Was it out of curiosity? It maybe partially, but now fully. I think I was ready to be over the pettiness. I thought I was above getting hurt by them anymore because they don’t matter to me. And as it is, I am over them and they don’t matter to me. But I noticed it. Do I just put that away as my sensitivity? I believe so.

I know who I am. I know who I’m married to. I know who I want my kids to be. They may share a genetic code but they will evolve and rise up higher than those they share this genetic code with could ever imagine.

My husband who is also a writer with a Religious Studies degree from C.U. in Boulder is my very close support system.

Then-

I did a load of dishes and fed the kids in my house, mainly the two 10-year-old girls (my daughter has a friend sleeping over. My teenager is sleeping, he probably went to bed after 6 am).

I started The Tao of Power by R.L. Wing today that my husband started five days ago. He was showing me his tetragram this morning and so I decided to get one and I got the Tetragram number 3 and it stands for--

KEEPING PEACE

Do not exalt the very gifted,

And people will not contend.

Do not treasure goods that are hard to get,

And people will not become thieves.

Do not focus on desires,

And people’s minds will not be confused.

Therefore, Evolved Individuals lead others by

Opening their minds,

Reinforcing their centers,

Relaxing their desires,

Strengthening their characters.

Let the people always act without strategy or desire;

Let the clever not venture to act.

Act without action,

And nothing is without order.

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Evolved Leaders know that their attitudes ultimately have greater influence than their actions. They know that those things that they respect and value soon become the motivating force behind their people. Therefore, they openly value worthwhile qualities that everyone can achieve--integrity, flexibility, and spontaneity. They do not emphasize extraordinary achievements or impressive possessions because they know this will undermine the harmony and accord among the people. Evolved Leaders bring peace and progress to their organization through the force of correct attitude. They practice noninterference and shape events with the power of their attitudes.