Anaphalaxis: My First Trip To The E.R.
Just write
2014 diagnosed with multitudes of allergies. The most devastating chocolate! All the symptoms I thought were panic attacks was also asthma
the elephant sitting on my chest. difficulty breathing.
finding where my life is headed
knowing i'm living my life
writing this book--focusing on the protagonist--who is a type of myself.
just write. i am writing
what do i want my blog name to be
what would i sell
what do i have to offer
there are days of clarity
overshadowed by shame, guilt, and feelings of inadequacy
life. live life.
we are not put here to feel guilty or shamed
it's not a list of tasks that needs to be checked off
swelling, heart racing,
anaphylaxis is absolutely not life-threatening. how about that? the problem is that it is impossible to predict the potential severity of the reaction ahead of time. Therefore, we must approach each episode of anaphylaxis as potentially life-threatening.
I was given skin tests and blood tests that showed I'm allergic to chocolate. My allergist said to avoid it. I'm also allergic to sulfa and penicillin and there has been this nagging feeling every time I drink wine that I would die of anaphylaxis before I ever get drunk. I suspected it was the sulfites that's used to make wine, but my allergist said there is no way we can test it. So with the devastation of not being able to consume chocolate anymore I thought, "well, I'll still drink some wine here and there."
the difficulty with writing is that I get derailed. Is that the best word for it? My husband says distracted. I think it's my PTSD. I've been better though. I've been on antidepressants for as long as my daughter has lived. 12 years. Wow. Not as long as my therapy.
this book I want to write about reincarnation and suicide. I have so many words written and when I look at it I get all discombobulated and discouraged.
i think of the dissertation. all the research i did for 25 pages!!! geez! 25 pages and and 7 years! i really should ease up on myself and with a very expensive education to back it up that i'm still trying to pay for.
it makes you want to give up on life.
why did i go there?
you know, my dad popped in my head. And my mom. They spent a month in the Philippines. My dad called me afterwards. My mom finally got her social security pension from the there. 150,000 pesos. Which really only adds up to $3000 US. My mom wanted to put it into building a church. It's so weird. I can't believe I came from them. trying to make sense of all of that growing up. You can't. It's not possible. It's crazy.
2014 diagnosed with multitudes of allergies. The most devastating chocolate! All the symptoms I thought were panic attacks was also asthma
the elephant sitting on my chest. difficulty breathing.
finding where my life is headed
knowing i'm living my life
writing this book--focusing on the protagonist--who is a type of myself.
just write. i am writing
what do i want my blog name to be
what would i sell
what do i have to offer
there are days of clarity
overshadowed by shame, guilt, and feelings of inadequacy
life. live life.
we are not put here to feel guilty or shamed
it's not a list of tasks that needs to be checked off
swelling, heart racing,
anaphylaxis is absolutely not life-threatening. how about that? the problem is that it is impossible to predict the potential severity of the reaction ahead of time. Therefore, we must approach each episode of anaphylaxis as potentially life-threatening.
I was given skin tests and blood tests that showed I'm allergic to chocolate. My allergist said to avoid it. I'm also allergic to sulfa and penicillin and there has been this nagging feeling every time I drink wine that I would die of anaphylaxis before I ever get drunk. I suspected it was the sulfites that's used to make wine, but my allergist said there is no way we can test it. So with the devastation of not being able to consume chocolate anymore I thought, "well, I'll still drink some wine here and there."
the difficulty with writing is that I get derailed. Is that the best word for it? My husband says distracted. I think it's my PTSD. I've been better though. I've been on antidepressants for as long as my daughter has lived. 12 years. Wow. Not as long as my therapy.
this book I want to write about reincarnation and suicide. I have so many words written and when I look at it I get all discombobulated and discouraged.
i think of the dissertation. all the research i did for 25 pages!!! geez! 25 pages and and 7 years! i really should ease up on myself and with a very expensive education to back it up that i'm still trying to pay for.
it makes you want to give up on life.
why did i go there?
you know, my dad popped in my head. And my mom. They spent a month in the Philippines. My dad called me afterwards. My mom finally got her social security pension from the there. 150,000 pesos. Which really only adds up to $3000 US. My mom wanted to put it into building a church. It's so weird. I can't believe I came from them. trying to make sense of all of that growing up. You can't. It's not possible. It's crazy.
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